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Aus dem Leben eines Alopecianers – Leonie

From the life of an alopecian – Leonie

Hello dear ones!

My name is Leonie, also known as Leo, I'm 25 years old and I have alopecia areata, also known as circular hair loss. I went bald when I was 21. At first it happened slowly and then suddenly it started to go faster and faster. I've been bald for four years now and I can't imagine it any other way.

In the summer of 2016, while drinking coffee with a friend, I noticed that I had a hole in my left eyebrow. I was a little surprised because I didn't know where it came from, but I didn't think anything of it. Over time, the hole got bigger and bigger and my left eyebrow disappeared completely. I was scared at the time and couldn't explain why it suddenly happened. I didn't want others to see that I only had one eyebrow on my face. I tried my best to paint it over, but it didn't work out very well.

In November 2016 I finally went to a dermatologist and he diagnosed me with alopecia areata, also known as circular hair loss. I was really shocked and was very afraid that it would get worse. My dermatologist said I shouldn't worry, that it was probably just a phase, and prescribed me a low-dose cortisone ointment, which I was to apply to my nonexistent eyebrow every day. The ointment didn't work and I went for a check-up once a month. Very slowly the hair loss got worse. My doctor sent me to a dermatology clinic, where I was offered tropical immunotherapy. This therapy was supposed to have 150 sessions. I thought, who knows, maybe it will help, but after the third treatment I could no longer tolerate the cortisone and as soon as the therapy started the hair loss suddenly started very quickly.

It took less than three months for my body to be completely hairless. The week I went bald I was on sick leave. It was very stressful and depressing for me not knowing what would happen next, how would I deal with the baldness, how would other people deal with me and my baldness and would I be happy again? So many things were floating around in my head.

So I decided to write a list of positive and negative things about being bald. In the end I had more positive things on my list and decided that now was the time. I'm going to be brave, even though I'm scared, and let one of my best friends shave off the last hairs on my head. It was a big deal for both of us. I thought I would cry, but it was just the opposite. I sat in my chair and started to smile and laugh. I noticed the hair disappearing from my head and the further we got with the shave, the more a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.

I was so relieved and liberated when I had taken this big step and suddenly noticed the strength within me and the positive response from other people. I resolved that day to stop being afraid, to be strong, to show myself as I am, to encourage others and to raise awareness of Alopecia Areata. I walked around for three days wearing a scarf or hat because I had to get used to my new self.

But when I dared to leave the house topless, it was the most natural thing in the world for me. At first I noticed the looks from other people, but eventually I stopped. Some people even speak to me on the street because they want to know what I have or want to tell me that they think it's beautiful and brave to see a bald woman walking through the world. Alopecia has made me more self-confident. I've had lots of great experiences with other people I meet on the street, who write to me on social media because they have questions or fears because they're in the same situation as me back then, and I've gotten to know strong women who also have alopecia and don't let it get them down or hide. It always depends on how you deal with your story. If you respect yourself, others will too.

I want to encourage everyone with my story and say, you are beautiful with or without hair!

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