Hello, my dears
My name is Bianca, I am 27 years old and live in Zurich.
I have been bald for about two and a half years now.
You can often see me wearing a headscarf from Kopfrauch, sometimes with a wig, but then there are also moments when I go topless.
But let's start from the beginning.
I was 16 years old and training to be a nurse when a classmate pointed out to me for the first time that I had a small, really small, hole on the back of my head, just above the nape of my neck, where there was no hair. Because I am a very athletic person and basically always had my hair tied in a bun on top of my head, this was the first time I noticed.
I was just on vacation and thought I had been bitten by a mosquito and that was why I might have been scratching a bit too much.
Despite the logical explanation of a mosquito bite, I observed the small spot and realized within a few days that it was getting larger and not smaller as I expected.
I called my family doctor, who was on vacation at the time, to make an appointment. The next available appointment was in two weeks, so I agreed. Since I had no pain, itching or any other symptoms, it was no problem for me to wait.
The small circle at the back of the head had developed into a "small" hole of about 1-2 cm. I still wasn't particularly worried. Two weeks later, when I went to see my GP for an appointment, the hole was about the size of a fist and I concealed it by tying my hair back at the nape of my neck.
The diagnosis of Alopecia Areata was made immediately
and I was referred to dermatology
at the University Hospital Zurich.
Now I had to wait another four weeks until an appointment became available. My entire neck was already bald (alopecia ophiasis) when I went to the dermatology department. The doctors there gave me a cortisone ointment, which I had to apply to my neck, and a follow-up appointment in two weeks.
Two weeks later, I went back to the university hospital without any improvement, but also without any further worsening of the alopecia. The doctors changed the treatment method and injected a mixture of cortisone and local anesthetic into the affected area on the neck.
They gave me little hope that the hair would grow back because the alopecia on my neck was "very stubborn". But this form of therapy worked very well for me, and after the first treatment, small hairs began to grow. I had to go to the dermatology department for injections every four weeks. As soon as small hairs appeared everywhere again, the therapy was stopped and I was successfully discharged from the dermatology department.
The next few years were irregular. Every 1-2 years I had a small patch of alopecia areata, which was treated directly with the local cortisone/anaesthetic mixture. This was immediately successful each time. Only once did I receive cortisone tablets, which I had to take because the hairless area was near my temples. The doctors said that the injections could cause skin irregularities, which would then be visually noticeable. At that point, I was happy with anything, as long as the hair grew back.
In spring 2018, shortly before my 24th birthday
I felt an irregularity on the right side of my head,
as I ran my hand through my hair.
It was immediately clear to me that this must be a new outbreak of alopecia areata. I was very upset because I hadn't had any hair loss for three years. I thought the time when I had to keep taking cortisone, worry about hair loss and live in uncertainty was over. And now it was back again...
I called the dermatology department directly and started taking the dose of cortisone that I had been prescribed during the last attack at home.
The visits to the dermatologist were torture. More and more cortisone was injected directly into my head. What had always helped so well was suddenly no longer enough. My hair continued to fall out. New holes appeared, which I had never experienced before. After four months, the bald patches could only be concealed with a ponytail and a bandana in my hair.
In January 2019, a good three quarters of a year after the outbreak, I shaved off all my remaining hair and wore a wig from then on. I also stopped the dermatology treatment. I thought that if the medication wasn't working, I didn't need to continue taking it.
A good friend of mine loves photography and so I asked her to do a shoot with me to gain confidence. I wanted beautiful pictures, or rather, I wanted pictures where I looked beautiful without hair.
Because I identified myself very strongly through my appearance, I had to learn to accept myself as I am now. I had to learn that I am still the same person without hair. I am still me, but with a much stronger character. I now know exactly who I am and what I can do. I don't let myself be sold for less than I am worth and I can stand up for myself. All things that I couldn't do before.
Since July 2019, I have also lost all of my body and facial hair. I usually wear a brow bar and when I go out in the evening, I often stick on false eyelashes. I also had microblading done. I am very, very happy with it!
Since the end of 2019, I have been under contract with a modeling agency, which I only do on the side. Otherwise, I still work in the hospital. I thought to myself, if I already have a special look, why not use it to my advantage and contact an agency. I was given a very warm welcome there and it turned out that many photographers, make-up artists and stylists are very interested in my appearance. ♥
Finally, I would like to say that everyone, whether they have no hair at all, a few spots or just very small holes, has to deal with it themselves. Each "stage" may be experienced differently by everyone and may be bad. Nevertheless, I would like to use my story to encourage others. It was bad for me at times too; I sat on the bathroom floor crying and called my best friend so I could cry it out. This is all part of it too!
Get to know yourself again, learn who YOU are and don't mourn who you were with hair. Do what is good for you and feel beautiful doing it.
You are beautiful whether with or without hair
